Saturday, October 13, 2018

Recovery?

What was supposed to be a quick 3 mile morning ride turned into a 9 mile one. Instead of heading north to Tower Bridge, I turned south and rode on. Miller Park would've been 3 mile ride; but I couldn't resist the temptation to explore beyond. That's usually what happens when I take a new route. And ephedrine in the Bronkaid pill I swallowed before leaving probably made me even more daring.

After that, I was spent. But I was still wired and managed to clean the bathroom in the evening. Then insomnia stuck. You'd think 9 mile ride  ought to make a CFS patient sick for days.  I used to get sick just from cleaning the bathroom alone. The ride should've at least put me to sleep for good 8 hours. Instead, I couldn't fall asleep till 3AM. I tossed and turned and got up at 9AM. This is just like 2016 when all of sudden I was able to walk more without crashing and couldn't sleep, only worse. (I mean, better).

Next day I was still wired. I was awake enough to get the laundry done and then walk 2km. And then, another insomnia.  (The coffee I had in the afternoon may have something to do with it this time.) I slept less than 5 hours and I'm still wired this morning. I'll have to go for a long afternoon walk or another ordeal to get some sleep tonight.

I never was a good sleeper before. I remember lying awake in the middle of the night and tracing the hexagon patterns on the ceiling paper. I was no more than 6 then. And I suffered from insomnia all throughout my working life. The silver lining of getting sick with CFS was that it cured my insomnia and I was able to sleep full 8 hours like a baby. Now that is going away.

This could well be yet another false recovery. But it's happening more and more often and it will stick someday, I'm pretty sure. Then I'll have to struggle with insomnia all over again. It's truly a rock and a hard place.


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