Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Improvement Means Freedom

The Muni bus got stuck again. For 15 minutes this time. Before, I would have had no choice but wait. This time, however, I decided to walk. It was less than 1 km away and there was no point waiting when I would get there (almost) by the time the bus restarts. (I didn't actually walk though. I changed my mind and took a different route).

When your walking ability limited, you have to carefully plan your routes. One mistake, you can get marooned. Many times before I felt like dropping right  where I was and lie down when that happened. (Once I was draped on a chair outside of a deli in a deserted section of the city, and the passing tourists, probably lost, came to check if I was alive). And many times before I felt like the Donner Party at the foot of the Sierra. With the ability to walk additional one mile, I don't have to be as careful. When the life throws a curve, I don't have to get marooned either. It means freedom.

It also means peace. I went to the library in the afternoon to use their printer. Their system was down. To make it worse, the streets just got closed when I came out, thanks to the SEIU protest. I had to walk extra 500m to catch the bus. Before, I would've thrown hands up in the air, roll my eyes and sworn like hell. I just shrugged this time.

Just a little improvement in walking ability, and the quality of life improves drastically.  Conversely, it goes to show you how bad I had before the improvement. Many  CFS patients have it worse than I and most people don't understand how bad that is. It's an insult to injury that CFS patients often have to deal with.

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