Skiing Aftermanth

It's a deja vu all over again. And this post-trip struggle may go on for 3 weeks.

Day 1 - Fatigued but calm and awake.
Day 2 -  Ran errands and biked 2 miles. Crapped out in the afternoon till the next morning.
Day 3 - bounced back and free from fatigue and ache. Ran errands and then rode bike for 5 miles in the late afternoon. It felt like a recovery.
Day 4 - struggle begins..

It's as if whatever was keeping elevated lasted for another 3 days before the struggle set in, just like in Mesquite. Back then, walking up 2 flights of stairs was enough to bring about crash once the elevation faded. Now it's carrying 20 lbs laundry up one flight.

I could lay low for another 2 weeks till this post-trip struggle passes over. Or I can go on another trip, another skiing perhaps, to postpone the struggle. I still haven't figured out a way to soft-land from a hard elevation, other than relying on Sudafed or Bronkaid to temporarily prop up.

On the Slope Again, at Last

9 bunny runs, 1 blue run, 1 spill. That was my score on the first day of skiing after 11 years. I planned to stick to bunny slopes and do 3 runs in the morning and another 3 in the afternoon. But I was excited to be back on the slope and the blue run in front of my eyes beaconed; I gave in to the temptation after the first 3 bunny runs and a break.

Soda Springs, next to Sugar Mountains that I used to patronize for daytrips, only have 2 chair lifts, one for green and the other for blue. The price was equally light weight at $30. It was a perfect ski resort for a recovering CFS patient. And it was only 1.5 hours away too. I used to get up at 5AM to get to the mountains when I was living in the Bay Area. Now I can get up at 7 and still be on the slope by 10 AM. Now I am taking full advantage of being in Sacramento.

So I ended up doing three sessions instead of two I planned: 2 in the morning and 1 in the afternoon. As I was coming back, I realized that is what I used to do: blue/black warmups in the morning, and then tackle the mountains before and after lunch.  Just like I used to do, only on bunny slopes. Still, I was cramping all over by the time I was done. That's how much I'm out of shape despite constantly challenging my PEM limits.

Strangely, I didn't sleep as well as I expected last night. I was tired and somewhat phlegmatic rather than knock-out tired when I returned. I took shower and went to bed early and ended up waking up several times. This morning, I'm feeling about the same: a little tired and phlegmatic when I should be sparkling and achy all over. Maybe I didn't do enough skiing. Imagine that, 10 runs not being enough after being sick for 11 years.

And that is the strangest thing about CFS, at least in this late moderate/mild phase of it. When in routine, it's as if the parking brake is on: you can't do much and you keel over when you do. Then, when novelty hits you, the brake is released and you function as if you are no longer sick. No wonder people mistook CFS for depression for years.

This false recovery has been happening often enough, it's no longer surreal like it was back in 2016 when I was suddenly able to walk twice as far for no reason. Back then, the thought of recovery after 8 years almost brought tears in my eyes. Now, it's more like, meh.

Getting Sick Means Getting Better

Another winter, another cold. I'm getting it for 2 years in a row. I probably caught it while test-driving Tesla 3. I talked too much with the sales guy, though it could've been the service guy who gave it to me.

When you have CFS, it's hard to tell if you are coming down with cold. The ache, fatigue and the drained feeling is same as the ones you get with a moderate post-exertional sickness. (A severe one is about same as completely getting knocked out with flu). I rode to Miller Park when I got back from Tesla -- I wanted to take advantage of the break in the weather and ride to South Park, and then got overly ambitious as usual -- so I would've assumed I was having a post-exertional struggle, if it weren't for the scratchy nose and throat.

Some people think CFS prevents them from catching cold. In reality, it is the isolation that CFS puts them in and therefore deprives them of opportunities to come in contact with vectors carrying the virus, I think. I'm an example. I've gotten sick only once between 2008 to 2017. And that was when I was riding crowded subways in Korea.  Now I am a bit more socially active, catching cold/flu is becoming an annual event once again.

Anyway, Tesla Model 3 was a blast to drive. It was lighter on its feet and had tighter turning circle making it much more agile and sportier than Model S. It felt much like Mazda 3, only more powerful. (Some compares it to BMW 3, but BMW 3 steering has more springy feedback to it). But no, I'm not getting another Tesla. I knew it would be a better car and would've waited for it if it weren't for the cross-country trip that we planned. I'll probably get a cheap rice burner -- I miss my old Honda -- for recreation eventually, when I get over the guilt of burning fossil fuel. Tesla will be the main driver anyway, so I won't be contributing to the global warming that much.

End of Yet Another False Recovery

A week long trip to Oregon. the ordeal of 15 mile ride circling the river. 3 mile hike to Nevada Fall in Yosemite. 4 days of sudden wakefulness.  I sure enjoyed while it lasted. Now another false recovery has come to an apparent end along with the summer.

I rode to the Yacht Club to test out the theory that 2x100m run that preceded the last ride was responsible for the CFS flareup the last time. I wallowed in a post-exertional flare-up for 3 days afterwards even without the preceding run this time. So, the 2x100m run may not be the real culprit.  Rather, it could be that the novelty of bike riding has dissipated, and the summer of false recovery is now over. And to think that I might be able to dabble into skiing this winter, LOL.

Getting knocked out of commission for a day after an exercise is bad enough. Paying for one day of freedom with 3 days in jail is just not a viable trade at all. I'll have to go back to being a good boy for now and stick to walking to the café like I used to in the spring. I may be able to ride to another café 2 miles away too. But I don't need to take chance with long rides or runs. There just isn't a need enough to risk bad flareups.

The false recovery will come back. Maybe in November, like it did briefly in 2016. Or maybe in the next summer. I have a feeling that they will get more frequent and longer, eventually leading to the real recovery. I'll just need to lay low when it is gone and abide my time till it comes back.

Freedom

The wife had a business in SF on Thursday and I had to chauffer.  I didn't mind; October is always a good month to visit SF. Fog-less and warm enough for a t-shirt, it certainly was a good day in SF.

Her business in Pacific Height and then our lunch in Laurel Height taken care of, we left the car in Castro as usual and she went to see her friends. I got off F tram at Powell and went for a meandering walk all over SOMA, my old neighborhood during my years of constantly wallowing in CFS stupor.  I probably logged good 2 miles when I got to the Ferry building. I rested on the upper deck of the ferry terminal for 30 minutes munching on Acme bread and Pepsi. I could've taken Muni back to Castro then. Instead, I walked on. I walked till 2nd Street and was resting in Starbucks there when I got the text from my wife that she was coming back. So I hopped on F that just happened to be there and came back to Castro.

That's what freedom looks like.

The day ended with 14,000 steps. Between lying on couch and napping in bed, I was pretty much useless yesterday, though in the evening I managed to walk to a store for lotto tickets for $1 billion prize and then drive around looking for cheap breakfast cereals. It was a post-exercise fatigue, not a struggle or sickness. A happy fatigue.

Speed, Still the Killer

I struggled for another 2 days with CFS flareup. On Tuesday, I didn't step out of the house at all. Wednesday, I managed to crawl out for a walk -- I had to, being cooped up for more than a day with CFS flareup always makes me feel effing bad.

2-Day Crash. 5 or below in the second to the last column means bad day

It's possible that the bike ride caused the crash. It was the second time on the same route and the novelty effect has faded. But I'm pretty sure that the effect of 2x200m run that weakened me for 4 days and the bike ride on the top of it that did me in. I'll test it by repeating the same bike ride next week.

Back in 2009-2010, 2 sets of 8 curls with 12.5 lbs dumbbell were enough to make me sick. Someone on the Phoenix Rising site suggested to cut it down to 4 reps and that worked like a magic. Then in 2011, I noticed that walking the same distance just a bit faster made me sick. That's when I started pacing with a metronome and I've been limiting my walking speed to 90/sec. I learned since then that it's the sustained speed/intensity that keels me over, time and time again.

Reducing 2x100m to 2x20m may fix the problem. But I don't need to run; for now I'm content with slow walk/ride for a distance. I just need enjoy my freedom that such walk/ride brings. I'll give the run another try eventually, maybe in the winter when it is too wet to walk or ride.

Wakefulness Not Replicated

Yesterday, I was still a bit tired from the 2x100m run 2 days before. But I wanted to replicate the wakefulness after the morning ride, so I swallowed another Bronkaid and traced the same route to Miller Park and then to Sacramento Yacht Club.

Miller Park

I could feel my legs being substantially stronger than the last time. I was able to easily get up from the seat to pedal across one intersection. And the whole trip, despite a bit more fatigued at the beginning, was easier than the last time. I didn't crap out all afternoon afterward either; a bed rest of 30 minutes, and I was sitting up. It may be the result of 2x100m run.

The 3 days of wakefulness, however, was not replicated. I slept 9 hours last night and I still wasn't as awake as I was the first time. Then fatigue rolled in this afternoon and I spent most of the afternoon lying down.

It could be that the novelty effect disappeared on the second ride. Or it could be that I was on Bronkaid for 2 days in a row, and therefore less ephedrine kick. Or it could've be the solar sunspot. There could be millions of reasons. At the end though, it's likely that the wakefulness just happened for no reason at all, just like in 2016, and therefore cannot be replicated. After all, why did I decide to go for a morning ride out of the blue on that day? Probably because I was amped up already.

Still, it's quite possible that the outcome was different on the second ride because I'm still under the weather from the 2x100m run 2 days before. Even though that did not make me sick, I should give the morning ride another try when I'm rested and see if that makes any difference.